This episode explores how true healing and personal transformation often begin when we stop trying to force outcomes and finally let go. When persistent effort, self-blame, and willpower have failed to break unhealthy patterns or heal emotional wounds, it’s often a profound surrender—an honest admission of “I can’t do this on my own anymore”—that opens the door to real change.

The episode guides listeners through the journey of self-inquiry that follows surrender: asking deep questions, searching for blind spots, and confronting hidden beliefs that block growth and healing. It introduces the role of spirituality, emphasizing the importance of believing in something greater than ourselves—whether that’s God, nature, the universe, or collective wisdom—and being open to guidance, even if it comes in unexpected forms.

Stories and reflections encourage listeners to recognize that answers and help often appear subtly: through dreams, chance encounters, or quiet moments of insight. Limits to receiving, such as low self-worth or limiting beliefs, can prevent us from seeing or accepting the support the world offers, leading to prayers that seem unanswered.

Drawing on the principles of recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, the episode affirms that shifting from isolation and self-reliance to openness, humility, and trust in a higher power can be transformative. Listeners are encouraged to maintain a positive outlook, see every challenge as a potential blessing, and stay aware of life’s subtle invitations for change.

This inspiring episode features Sandra Rives, a transformational coach and founder of Red Opium by Sandra Rives, who brings nearly 20 years of experience in counselling and empowerment coaching. Sandra shares her personal journey from feeling unseen and misunderstood to embracing radical authenticity.

  ********Sandra's gift  THE BOUNDARY AUDIT********

Why is it valuable?

Because boundaries are not just about saying 'no'—they’re about saying 'yes' to your truth. They protect your energy, clarify your relationships, and serve as a mirror to where your inner child, past conditioning, or social programming might still be running the show.

Why Boundaries Matter – Backed by Psychosocial Research

• According to attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969), early relational dynamics shape our adult ability to feel safe setting boundaries.

 • Trauma-informed psychology highlights how people-pleasing and perfectionism often emerge as nervous system survival strategies (Van der Kolk, 2014).

• Feminist psychosocial theory explores how women are socially conditioned to prioritise others’ comfort over their own truth, resulting in chronic self-abandonment.

• Brené Brown’s research shows that those with the strongest boundaries are also the most compassionate (Brown, 2010).

To avail of Sandra's gift  THE BOUNDARY AUDIT: Reclaiming Your Voice & Power; a psychosocial self-inquiry tool designed exclusively for listeners of UR a CURE – Inner Power:

Email Sandra directly at info@sandycoach.com with the subject: “CURE Listener – Boundary Clarity.”

First 5 email responders → Free 60-minute Boundary Clarity Call

Next 5 responders → Free 30-minute Insight Session

All others → Free view-only access to the Boundary Audit Tool (via private page)

In this deeply personal episode, the host opens up about growing up in a household shaped by addiction and emotional unpredictability — and how those early experiences quietly sculpt our understanding of love and intimacy in adulthood. What unfolds is a candid exploration of codependency, the subconscious desire to stabilize others emotionally as a way to feel safe.

💡 Key Themes Explored:

·       Childhood survival patterns: How adapting to chaos bred hypervigilance, self-sacrifice, and emotional sensitivity.

·       Love vs. longing: The distortion of romantic relationships rooted in an unhealed past.

·       Codependency revealed: Recognizing toxic dynamics like gaslighting, people-pleasing, and emotional enmeshment.

·       Healing journey: Discovering how awareness, reflection, and emotional regulation can lead to personal transformation — and the possibility of healthier love.

💬 Core Insights:

·       Healing affects not just the self, but the relationship space between people.

·       Emotional boundaries are crucial for empaths to reclaim inner clarity.

·       Real love isn’t dramatic or intense — it’s grounded, safe, and respectful.

·       Peace and “boring” stability are powerful signs of healing, not signs of failure.

·       Love grows through witnessing, not fixing; through presence, not pressure.

🌱 Through this vulnerable story, listeners are invited to reflect on their own emotional blueprints and begin untangling who they are from who they had to be to survive.

As healing unfolds, the host describes how shifting her own emotional energy created space for healthier, more conscious love. The episode dives into the journey of transforming codependent patterns rooted in childhood — including people-pleasing, emotional enmeshment, and the addiction to chaos masked as passion.

The host embraces a new paradigm of interdependence — love as mutual growth, where each person is free to evolve without being reshaped. It’s a call to pause the rollercoaster and choose the quiet courage of emotional clarity.

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, we explore the emotional complexity of spending holidays back at your family home—especially for those who come from dysfunctional or traumatic backgrounds. Returning as an adult to the place and people who shaped you can feel like stepping into a time warp, where old roles and behaviors resurface despite all the personal growth you’ve achieved.

This episode is dedicated to those who’ve worked hard to heal, grow, and redefine themselves. We unpack why family visits can be so draining, how deeply ingrained roles within dysfunctional systems pull us back into outdated versions of ourselves, and why our families often resist the changes we’ve made.

You’ll learn:

·       Why returning home can trigger old patterns and emotional fatigue

·       How family projections shape interactions and reinforce roles

·       Strategies to stay grounded, set boundaries, and protect your energy

·       Tools to plan your visit with intention and recover afterward

·       Personal stories that illuminate the surreal experience of “becoming your old self” again

Whether you’re the scapegoat, the peacemaker, or the invisible one, this episode offers practical guidance and emotional validation to help you navigate the holidays with clarity, compassion, and strength.

·       Plan Your Escape Hatch

·       Build a Support System

·       Stay Grounded in the Moment

·       Recover After the Visit

Podcast Episode

Jul 7

20 min 39 sec

Episode Description

In this insightful and emotionally rich episode, you explore the deep importance of taking personal responsibility and reclaiming your inner power. You challenge listeners to stop giving authority away to others—whether that’s institutions, gurus, or influencers—and begin leading their own lives.

Using the metaphor of a “responsibility dish,” you guide your audience through its essential ingredients: 🥄 Self-awareness as the foundation 🧠 Emotional reflection as the seasoning 🔥 Action and decision-making as the heat that transforms

Listeners learn how self-understanding—through daily reflection and healing childhood wounds—is key to acting responsibly. You draw parallels between gaining responsibility in the workplace and becoming responsible for one's life: both require knowledge, practice, and ownership.

The episode delves into the hard truths of change, the discomfort of growth, and how making tough choices (like leaving a toxic job or relationship) is often necessary for evolving into a more authentic self.

You highlight that responsibility isn't about being perfect—it's about staying present, learning from failure, and being willing to make honest choices without placing blame on others. This journey of personal leadership leads to inner harmony, freedom, and a sense of self-respect.

This episode dives into the emotional journey of becoming a truly responsible person. Using the vivid metaphor of cooking a “responsibility dish,” the host explores how life’s messy mistakes—burnt plans, under-seasoned choices, and flops—can become powerful ingredients for growth, if only we’re willing to own them.

Listeners are guided through the reality that avoiding responsibility may seem like control, but ultimately leads to stagnation, strained relationships, and frustration. The episode gently exposes why people struggle with taking accountability—especially those dealing with low confidence or a loud inner critic—and offers compassionate and practical tools to quiet that voice and begin learning from missteps.

Responsibility isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, awareness, and the courage to reflect. When embraced, it transforms our decisions and reactions into meaningful action. With every lesson, every failure, we refine the “flavor” of our lives and step into leadership of our own journey.

This episode explores the true nature of self-confidence—not as something you're born with, or something that comes from external success, but as a quality earned through adversity. The host reframes confidence as an inner warrior, forged in tough times, battle-tested through setbacks, and fueled by a deeper sense of purpose.

 Key Themes:

·       Self-confidence is built, not gifted: It comes from rising again after failure, not from easy wins. Scar by scar, decision by decision, we gather proof that we can count on ourselves.

·       The inner warrior: This warrior isn’t loud or perfect. It whispers “don’t give up” when things seem impossible. It fights not because life is easy, but because the journey is sacred.

·       False perceptions of confident people: We often assume confident people were always fearless or privileged—but many were shaped by hardship. Their calm exterior hides sleepless nights, quiet doubts, and repeated efforts.

·       Motivation and belief: The warrior within awakens when choice meets courage. It could be a moment of rock-bottom, the pursuit of meaning, or even someone else’s belief that sparks the fire.

·       Barriers to growth: Lack of confidence isn't laziness. It can stem from fear of judgment, past trauma, learned helplessness, or the pull of familiar pain.

·       The turning point: When someone finally takes action—with intention and purpose—they begin collecting real evidence that they’re capable. Over time, these actions reshape identity and self-trust.

The episode dives into the body’s incredible wisdom and its role in healing trauma. By learning to listen to our body’s subtle signals—like tension, digestive issues, fatigue, or even illness—we start to decode emotional wounds stored in our physical form.

Special attention is given to shame and low self-worth, and how they manifest somatically: hunched posture, shallow breath, clenched jaws, racing heart, and immune burnout. These aren't just moods—they're messages from the body.

Then, the journey turns inward to explore the root chakra, the foundational energy center tied to survival, safety, and belonging. Formed from womb to age 7, it's deeply impacted by early childhood experiences. Imbalances here can lead to anxiety, low energy, digestive problems, and trust issues.

Through intuitive guidance and relatable storytelling, the host encourages listeners to pause, tune in, and ask their bodies: “What do you need from me?”—a simple but profound invitation to self-healing.

It’s a nurturing, eye-opening episode about re-embodying your strength, grounding yourself, and remembering that you are your own cure. The host guides listeners through grounding practices and introduces the sacral chakra—our energy center for emotions, creativity, and pleasure. Starting with simple ways to reconnect with the body and nature—like walking barefoot, dancing, yoga, or sipping your morning coffee outside—listeners are encouraged to slow down and tune into their physical and emotional needs.

The episode explores how the sacral chakra, formed between ages 7 and 14, holds our inner child’s experiences around love, self-expression, and sensuality. When this energy is blocked—often from shame, neglect, or fear around pleasure—it can lead to emotional numbness and physical symptoms in the hips, reproductive system, and lower back.

But the episode isn’t just about awareness—it’s full of gentle tools for healing: creative expression, affirmations, connecting with water, mindful eating, and nurturing the inner child. The message is clear: you deserve joy, play, and connection—and the smallest moments of care can begin to restore balance from the inside out. The host dives deep into how growing up in emotionally unsafe or chaotic environments often leads to imbalances in these foundational centers, and how unresolved childhood trauma can show up as chronic emotional or physical symptoms later in life.

The spotlight then turns to the solar plexus chakra—your inner source of confidence, willpower, and identity. Forming between the ages of 15–21, this chakra helps shape who you are and how you take action in the world. When it’s blocked or overactive, symptoms like digestive issues, control patterns, self-doubt, or burnout can arise.

Listeners learn that imbalances in this chakra often come from insecurity, societal pressure, unhealed wounds, or being raised in environments that suppressed emotional expression and autonomy. But there’s hope: this episode offers tangible tools to begin healing and restoring balance—from movement and affirmations to food and breathwork.

Ultimately, healing your solar plexus means reclaiming your voice, your light, and your ability to choose your path. And above all, the host reminds us that reconnecting with your past self—especially during those formative teen years—is where true transformation begins.

This episode explores the journey of discovering your own truth, stepping into your power, and speaking with confidence—free from self-judgment. It highlights how finding your truth requires confronting false beliefs and peeling away layers of fear, trauma, and limiting thoughts.

Through personal reflections and examples, the episode emphasizes the difference between acting from love versus fear. It explains how self-awareness and small, intentional actions—rather than drastic changes—lead to transformation. You are encouraged to embrace your seasons of growth, trust the process, and take steps toward living authentically.

Ultimately, the episode reminds you that you are the creator of your own destiny, that your voice matters, and that embracing life with love, patience, and courage leads to profound change. Don't wait for a better version of yourself—be that person now.

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of finding and living your truth. It emphasizes the importance of small, intentional actions—like enjoying a quiet moment, choosing connection over distraction, and practicing self-love—as pathways to transformation.

Using the metaphor of nature’s seasons, the episode illustrates how personal growth unfolds in cycles. Just as nature moves through planting, growth, harvesting, and rest, so too must we navigate our own inner seasons—planting intentions, nurturing change, reflecting, and resting.

The discussion highlights the significance of shedding false beliefs, embracing self-awareness, and recognizing that every moment of transformation happens in the present. You are reminded that your voice matters, your choices shape your reality, and your life is meant to be abundant, fulfilling, and full of love.

Ultimately, the episode encourages listeners to act now, trust the process, and boldly step into their power, knowing that even the smallest choices can lead to profound change.

This episode explores inner dialogue—how we talk to ourselves and how it shapes our emotions, behaviors, and healing process.

The discussion is divided into four sections:

• Section 1: Understanding how our inner dialogue sounds when we're stuck in old childhood roles shaped by family dysfunction.

• Section 2: Learning how to break free from negative self-talk and shift into healthier communication with ourselves.

• Section 3: Exploring introspection—asking ourselves deep questions and listening for answers to better understand our thoughts.

• Section 4: Connecting with our higher self, soul, guides, or spirituality, understanding that wisdom comes from within.

The episode also touches on the Drama Triangle—Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor roles—and how they affect both external relationships and internal dialogue.

By becoming aware of these patterns and learning to communicate outside the Drama Triangle, we can reconnect with the parts of ourselves that we've suppressed—helping us heal, find wisdom, and embrace our true selves.

It covers four key areas:

1. Recognizing Inner Dialogue Patterns – Observing how we speak to ourselves, especially when triggered, and identifying whether we fall into Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer roles.

2. Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk – Learning to shift away from the Drama Triangle and approach ourselves with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion.

3. Practicing Introspection – Asking deeper questions to understand why certain thoughts arise, when they are strongest, and how they are influenced by specific people or places.

4. Connecting with Your Higher Self – Quieting the mind through meditation, reflection, and self-awareness to access inner wisdom and guidance beyond the ego.

The episode emphasizes self-acceptance, healing, and personal empowerment—encouraging listeners to embrace all parts of themselves and transform their inner dialogue into a source of strength and truth.

This podcast episode is a deeply personal reflection on learning to love oneself. The host shares their journey of self-acceptance, shaped by childhood struggles, the pressure to succeed, and the belief that love must be earned through accomplishments. They recount how their father’s analytical, fact-driven mindset left them feeling unseen and undervalued, leading to a lifelong pursuit of external validation through academic and professional success.

Despite reaching impressive milestones, they still felt inadequate—until they discovered the power of stillness and meditation. Connecting with their inner child, embracing spirituality, and offering themselves the love they lacked in childhood became transformative steps in their healing. They emphasize that true happiness and fulfilment come from self-love, not achievements.

As a powerful addition, one of their clients shares their own realization—that chasing success didn’t bring real happiness, but accepting themselves fully did. The episode highlights the idea that healing begins within, that embracing one’s imperfections leads to growth, and that self-love ultimately unlocks life’s deeper meaning and purpose. It’s an inspiring message about breaking free from societal expectations and finding true inner peace.

This podcast episode introduces the host’s approach to coaching, explaining how it differs from therapy. Coaching focuses on the present and future, helping individuals set meaningful goals and grow into their best selves. The process begins by identifying true desires—sometimes different from what people initially believe they need—and then assessing barriers, resources, and possible paths forward.

A core principle of coaching is that the answers lie within the client, and the coach’s role is to ask the right questions rather than dictate solutions. The host specializes in helping Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) and shares personal experience in reprogramming beliefs through coaching and healing. With five years of experience, they have developed techniques that support transformation.

Their first book on this subject is being translated into English, reflecting their deep commitment to guiding those with silent wounds toward self-discovery and empowerment. They offer online sessions, beginning with an introductory meeting to ensure a good fit, and invite listeners to reach out via email for more information.

This episode explores the challenges of dealing with toxic people, especially for adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. The host emphasizes that these individuals often struggle with boundaries, self-esteem, and emotional resilience, making them more vulnerable to toxic interactions.

Rather than blaming oneself, the episode reframes these encounters as opportunities for healing. Toxic people trigger unresolved wounds, pushing individuals toward self-discovery and growth. The host shares an example of a shop worker, Katie, to illustrate how deep-rooted insecurities—such as craving approval—can make toxic interactions overwhelming.

The key takeaway: you can’t control toxic people, but you can control your reaction. The episode covers two layers of managing toxicity—practical strategies to handle interactions in real-time and deeper work focused on self-love and boundary-setting.

Listeners are encouraged to build emotional strength through ten specific techniques, including delaying responses, staying neutral, setting firm boundaries, walking away, visualizing protective energy, and letting go of the urge to fix toxic people. The final message highlights the importance of guarding mental health, protecting emotional space, and recognizing personal power.

This episode dives into the emotional journey of navigating trauma and reclaiming self-worth amidst familial dysfunctions. I am sharing my heartfelt experience of struggling through hopelessness, searching for help, and discovering transformative tools like meditation, inner child healing, and self-awareness. Learn how I confronted deep-seated childhood emotions and rewrote the patterns of behavior, finding clarity and light along the way. This story emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with your true self, breaking generational cycles, and embracing personal growth to shape a more fulfilling future.

Through a thought-provoking questionnaire sourced from the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families World Service Organization, listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences and recognize how familial patterns might shape their reactions and self-perception.

In this episode, we explore different roles children take on in dysfunctional families and their lasting impact:

Hero: The family hero assumes a great deal of responsibility, often stepping in to manage household tasks and even parental duties, like searching for a missing parent. They’re constantly under pressure to be vigilant and ready to maintain order.

Invisible Child: This child avoids drawing attention to themselves, often seen as shy or timid. They take care of themselves and rarely ask for help, but as adults, they may struggle to express their needs and work collaboratively. However, they often possess a natural talent for listening and appreciating silence.

Mascot: The family clown who uses humor to defuse tension. While this role can bring joy, it often masks deep sadness and insecurity. Mascot kids may struggle with hyperactivity, a lack of focus, and superficial relationships. Despite their outward cheer, they often feel excluded from serious conversations and decisions.

Scapegoat: The opposite of the family hero, this child acts out and becomes the target of frustration in families dealing with alcoholism. Their behavior shifts attention away from underlying issues. As adults, they may face difficulties integrating into society and forming connections, often channeling anger into destructive actions.

These roles aren’t the true essence of who these children are—they're survival mechanisms developed in challenging environments. Recognizing these patterns is an important step toward rediscovering oneself and breaking free from the roles imposed by family dynamics.

This episode explores shame, guilt, and toxic shame, showing how they shape self-awareness and behavior. Shame stems from internalized failure, while guilt arises from specific mistakes and can motivate change. Through real-life scenarios, the episode illustrates how these emotions affect personal growth.

While some shame promotes moral awareness, toxic shame—especially in dysfunctional families—traps individuals in cycles of self-doubt. Children in unstable environments often absorb shame that their parents refuse to acknowledge, leading them to feel inherently flawed. The episode stresses the importance of self-awareness in breaking free from harmful emotional patterns.

Using a striking metaphor, it explains how shame spreads in dysfunctional families and how children internalize it. The host shares personal experiences, emphasizing that toxic shame is not a reflection of one's worth. Healing begins with awareness, open conversations, and challenging negative beliefs to reclaim self-acceptance.

Welcome to today’s episode, where we uncover the hidden beliefs shaping our lives—many programmed into us like faulty code. Some patterns are obvious, but others are buried deep in our subconscious, quietly holding us back.

How do we uncover and change beliefs we don’t even realize exist? That’s where our detective tools come in—the magnifying glass, the mirror, and the flashlight. They help us zoom in, reflect, and seek guidance in rewriting the beliefs that no longer serve us.

I’ll share a personal journey—how I tackled the belief that I was shy. Shame and fear made me feel exposed every time someone called me quiet. But the issue wasn’t my nature—it was rooted in childhood moments of rejection.

Together, we’ll break it down, uncover the deeper layers, and explore how healing requires more than just affirmations—it takes self-acceptance, understanding, and love.

So, grab your detective tools, and let’s dive in!